Are you losing aura every time you talk to your crush? Is your rizz not working on the skibidis? Do you wish you could go from zero to hero with that cutie in your English class? If you said yes to any of these questions, fear no more! Lamar’s very own Rizzard of Oz, Tim “Rizzly Bear” Weltin, is here to teach you how to get that level 100 sigma just in time for Valentine’s Day.

Rizz Tip #1

“The goal is to be lowkey fire and not skibidi,” says Mr. Weltin. “Most people who think they have rizz actually don’t. Bro thinks he’s him but he’s not.” Many betas who believe they’re sigmas end up in aura debt in front of their crush. “The biggest way to get a rizz factor that’s off the charts and getting good karma points is to listen to people,” says Mr. Weltin. He stresses how it’s important to be nonchalant, and to make sure the other person feels heard. “People love talking about themselves,” says Mr. Weltin. “Make sure your conversations with them aren’t just about you.” Paying attention to what that person says could also help you plan future dates, birthday gifts and the type of Reels you spam them with.

Rizz Tip #2

If you want that hallway crush to look at you with heart eyes, be sure to mog everyone in the room by dressing nicely and mewing constantly. Your face card should never decline! “Pay attention to how you look,” says Mr. Weltin. “As a history teacher, some fashion is historically known to be terrible in terms of looks. If you think you’re rescuing a trend that was already thought to be awful, I promise you, it’s not working, especially if it’s a mullet. They are never acceptable! Know your fashion history!” If you mess up and wear something ugly in front of that certain someone, perhaps it’s a sign to start your winter arc and to start practicing your Balkan Rage (Mango! Mango! Mango!).

Rizz Tip #3

The final (most important) rizz tip is to NOT wear Crocs. Since day one of the Croc Craze, Mr. Weltin has made sure to make them his opps. “Oh my gosh, they were made for your grandmother to garden in,” crashes out Mr. Weltin. “Wearing ugly plastic shoes will kill your rizz. Everybody hated them, but then Tik Tok came along and convinced everyone that they’re cool now.” If you don’t want to seem chopped in front of the fellow sigmas, Crocs are not the move, on skibidi! “The whole concept of having a sport-mode is so absurd, too,” fumes Mr. Weltin. Unless you intend to make all of the skibidis yap out what the sigma?’ Once they look at your grippers, Crocs are something you should avoid just like how you avoid John Pork’s calls.

Thanks to the Rizzly Bear, you are now prepared to ask that Beta out on a date to Ohio! Start getting your sleeper build ready, book an appointment to get a low taper fade, and buy some still water (those who know) so that once you start the skibidi you don’t give them the ick.